Bloody Hell...

Its been 3 days since mom left..... and ever since I am thinking/living in a kind of vaccum... a state of discomfort, which on the first look seems to be because of so many things, people and responses beyond my control, but then I realise that I am once again falling into the same trap.... a vicious circle of thoughts and actions which can be real irritants to people around me (i am too insulated right now to feel them).

I had been taking so much pride off late of being in perfect communication with my mom... something that I built up by my own efforts in the past two and half years... and yet I felt a disconnect.... sometimes I just feel certain things for which I barely have a justification that I can verbalise, but none-the-less those are very real feelings which move me from the core... I am finding last two weeks to be so hard to forget exactly for these reasons.... will remember the diwali break and this sunday's see-off for atleast some time to come...

I am seeking catharsis but finding none.....

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