Sunday, November 26, 2006

Exam Blues

After almost 3 months of exhibiting collective brilliance (read: group projects & presentations) time now to show some individual excellence….

3 end term papers :(

Facing a "pass exam" after more than three and half years... and hoping than even the prof.'s stick to the same spirit ;)

Wish me luck …….

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Straight from the horses mouth....

Here are some gloden words from one of the most sucessful and read Indian Blogger, Mr. Amit Agarwal on making money through Google Ad-Sense and Blogging. Have to take his words, coz this guy left his full time job and now is making a living through blogging.

Its really fascinates me how Google has made the Web 2.0 not only more socially relevent but also at the sametime by using services like Ad-Sense is able to derive financial sense out of it as well.

Mera number kab aayegaa...

अव्यक्त .....

Have not been able to sleep much for the last two days due to some issues at the PG where I am staying. With barely 3-4 hrs of sleep and 12 hrs of classes, assignments and group projects, and 3 end term papers lined up next week life has once again taken a challenging turn. Hope that I can live up to it.

As I mentioned there are some minor issues which have been a cause of minor irritation. Tried to vent it out, but in vain. Nothing can be more frustrating than a poem hanging mid-way, and here I had not one but two with similar fate. Since that hasn't worked, so trying something else for the very first time, posting an unfinished poems and that too something which I am not satisfied with ....

Nov, 23rd 2006 (0213 hrs)

And yet again
I have wrapped myself
In a gloomy shade of blue

Cold and numb
Seeking comfort in isolation

A synaptic disconnect

Between living and breathing
Blank open spaces

Problem statement of life
Whether to understand the me within
or the world outside, the without......
(to be continued and finished)

Nov, 22nd 2006 (0132 hrs)

कुछ नयी कठीनाईयो का सामना हुआ
मन आज फिर घबराया
भावो के ओत प्रोत से

पुरानी यादे, अवसाद सी
चारो ओर
एक काली चादर

मैने अपने को
फिर उसी जग जगह पाया
सेहमा बेबस

कोल्हू के बैल जैसा
एक जगह अटका हुआ
और गोल घुमाया ...............
(अल्प विराम )

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

First post using Google: Docs & Spreadsheets..

Google has started to show signs of integration of gmail and blogger service. Although the login process to is still a bit confusing, but nonetheless trusting the google instincts and brillant ways in which they are re-defining everything on the internet is awe-inspiring to say the least.

Interesting, how Blogger founders talk about there begining and modesty that still stays

The Story of Blogger ->

Me... Me... Me......

Self serving biases are one of the most important defense and coping mechanism used by one and all.

But on a lighter note, there are typical nobrainers that you find on the internet which may you feel important and happy for one stupid moment.

Have a look ->

Note even the copyright info displayed on the bottom of the page changing after you cutomise, ego bloating at its subtle best.

Google has been such an important component of our life, that its almost integrated into our fabric of online existence. Gives such a pleasure to see your name being displayed even on a spoof page ;)

Saturday, November 18, 2006

I Google therefore....

Just bumped into this wonderful blog Chandoo after a long time. Read through the post titled Google Life to understand and realise how deeply has it become entreched in our lives. And also where all further can it integrate (or is it the other way round). With the way everyone (including myself offcourse) is becoming obsessed with the internet and the way it has become a fabric of our social existence.... just trying to thing what next.... would certainley like to think, research, google ;) and blog about this in detail

Thursday, November 16, 2006


On an August morning in 1978, French filmmaker Claude Lelouch mounted a gyro-stabilized camera to the bumper of a Ferrari 275 GTB and had a friend, a professional Formula 1 racer, drive at breakneck speed through the heart of Paris. The film was limited for technical reasons to 10 minutes; the course was from Porte Dauphine, through the Louvre,
to the Basilica of Sacre Coeur.

No streets were closed, for Lelouch was unable to obtain a permit.
The driver completed the course in about 9 minutes, reaching nearly
140 MPH in some stretches. The footage reveals him running real red lights, nearly hitting real pedestrians, and driving the wrong way up real one-way streets.

Upon showing the film in public for the first time, Lelouch was
arrested. He has never revealed the identity of the driver, and the
film went underground until a DVD release a few years ago.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Google Pack Rocks...

Amazing package of softwares that Google has bundled toegther and can be the beauty is the size as well as the ease of use of all the applications there.... Would recommend all to try atleast a couple of them... download link is available on the right panel ---- >>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

So scroll down, click on the link, download and experience life the Google Way

Saturday, November 11, 2006

MBTI Interpretation

Yippeee....... a week after I administered MBTI Test on myself, with the help of a dear friend of mine, who is a trained psychologist and currently into advanced research, got the scoring and the interpretation done for my personality type for Organisations.

Here are the results ->


You are: I- Introvert, N- Intuitive, F- feeling, P- Perceiving.

Which means Introverted Feeling with Intuition.

INFPs are open-minded, idealistic, insightful and flexible individuals who want their work to contribute to something that matters. They enjoy working by themselves or in small groups where they can be creative.

Contributions to the Organization-They communicate and persuade with their ideals, draw individuals together around a common purpose, work to find matches for people in organizations, seek new ideas and possibilities for the organization, quietly push an organization to uphold its values.

Leadership style- Take a facilitative approach, Prefer unique leadership roles rather than conventional ones, Work independently toward their vision, are more likely to praise than to critique others, encourage people to act on their ideals.

Preferred learning style- Quietly engaging their interests, and imaginatively presented, flexible and focused on their own and others' development.

Problem- solving approach- Want to reflect on what is really important to them and others(F) and to seek out creative possibilities(N), May need to gather factual data (S) and decide about things more objectivity (T) for optimal results.

Preferred work Environments- Contain pleasant and committed people focused on important values, have a cooperative atmosphere with a lightness of spirit, allow privacy as well as collegiality, provide flexibility with minimal routine, are nonbureaucratic, foster calm and quiet, allow time and space for reflection.

Suggestions for development- May need to learn to work with what is rather than searching for an ideal response, may need to develop more tough - mindedness and a willingness to say "no", may need to foster in facts and logic along with their personal values, may need to develop and implement action plans.

In short you are adaptable, committed, curious, deep, devoted, empathetic, gentle, idealistic, imaginative, intimate, loyal and reticent.


Phew... thats a lot of insight...... :)

खुद से बाते

Found using HindiKalam ( to be an amazingly simple site for translating text from english script to hindi on a real time basis. It has a good WYSIWYG interface.

Just tried it on something that I scribbed last night.......

ख्वाब आते है रोज़ एक दस्तक देते है
धीरे से कुछ उम्मीदो का वास्ता देते
और फिर चुप-चाप से मायूस हो कर लौट जाते है

कभी मन बेचैन हो उठता है
अपने आप से, और कभी हर उस शै से लड़ता है
जिस्से मुझे सहरा मिलता है

लगता है जैसे
मैं खुद से लड़ रहा हूँ
और शायद थक भी चुका हूँ

चलते रेहने की नसीहत देना
और हसते रेहना
इतना मुशकिल भी नही जीना

फिर क्यूँ मैं हर ख्वाब को झूठलाता हूँ
कदमो के निशान मिटाता हूँ
और अपने मे सिमट जाता हूँ

As I was in the process of translating, just realised that how much I have been out of touch with writing in Hindi. Long live the spell-check feature.....

While searching about Gulzar, just came across this ......

aa-e-ne may kabhi khud ko
kabhi ajnabi ko dekhta hoon
baat nazariye ki hai

warna cehra toh wohi hai

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Walk of life....

At times you write to express, at times to confess, at times when you have a thing or two to share... and then there are times you have no clue as to why is it that you at unease with yourself. Trying to blabber all through words what makes no sense to you, leave alone others.

I hate these moments and have so many times tried to replace the feeling of emptiness with so much else. Its like something I tried in a recent workshop (pic above), walking on broken glass. I was the last person to try this, but once I actually gathered courage and plunged in, there was a great amount of insight that emerged.

Life is so much like this, we have broken glass pieces scattered all across our way, all the unpleasent memories and not so good experiences of the past which still are imprinted in our mind. All whats even worse is the kind of insulation that we have created around us in the fear of being hurt even deeper by these. The constant state of anxiety in which we spend our lives because of the set of events that happened in past and the way that they keep coming back to us in so many ways. Being haunted by the past.

At times the only way out is to take the path of direct confrontation. Gathering the courage to stand up, gather courage and to walk through all broken glass pieces.

There is an old fable.... Darkness approached God and said, "Enough is enough! Your sun goes on haunting me, chasing me. I can never rest; wherever I go to rest he is there, and I have to run away again. And I have not done any wrong to him. This is unjust. And I have come to you to get justice." It was perfectly right; the complaint was true. And God called the sun and asked the sun, "Why do you go on chasing this poor woman, darkness? What has she done to you?" The sun said, "I don't know her at all. I have never seen her. You just call her in front of me; only then can I say something. I don't remember ever having done any wrong to her, because I don't know her. We are not familiar. Nobody has ever introduced us to each other, we are not even acquainted. It is for the first time from you that I am hearing about this woman, this darkness. You call her!"

The case remains pending -- because God could not call darkness before the sun. They cannot exist together, they cannot encounter each other. When darkness is, the sun cannot be; when the sun is, the darkness cannot be. Exactly the same is the relationship between mind and reality: the psychology is the problem, the reality never is a problem. You just dissolve your psychological problems -- and they are dissolved by dissolving the center of them all: the ego.

Once you don't think yourself separate from existence, problems simply evaporate, as dewdrops disappear in the morning when the sun rises, not even leaving a trace behind. They simply disappear.

Sometimes, all it takes is gathering the courage and taking the plunge. And what has been holding us back all this time is the trap in which we have encaged ourselves and petrified to come out of. Even walking blind folded is not as scary as we think it t be, its just a matter of self-belief and trusting others with there judgements about you and the way thet best deem to be ment for you. It both that conspire to make living a meaningful existence.

So here I am, rending myself vulnerable to life once again.

someone has said it so right --

mere khush numa irado mera saath dena
kisi aaur se nahi mera khud se saamna hai

Bloody Hell...

Its been 3 days since mom left..... and ever since I am thinking/living in a kind of vaccum... a state of discomfort, which on the first look seems to be because of so many things, people and responses beyond my control, but then I realise that I am once again falling into the same trap.... a vicious circle of thoughts and actions which can be real irritants to people around me (i am too insulated right now to feel them).

I had been taking so much pride off late of being in perfect communication with my mom... something that I built up by my own efforts in the past two and half years... and yet I felt a disconnect.... sometimes I just feel certain things for which I barely have a justification that I can verbalise, but none-the-less those are very real feelings which move me from the core... I am finding last two weeks to be so hard to forget exactly for these reasons.... will remember the diwali break and this sunday's see-off for atleast some time to come...

I am seeking catharsis but finding none.....

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