Sunday, August 06, 2006

Parting Thoughts

Spending a very tiring sunday afternoon all alone, this has turned out to be a real crappy weekend. Spend a useless saturday and had a real unwelcome start of sunday. My last weekend here. And still trying to go thru the grind of packing.

Its been 20 months that I have spend in the NCR. Jan 05 Gaziabad -> Feb 06 Job # 1 -> Mar 05 Sec 11 Noida (PG Accomodation) -> May 05 Job # 2 -> June 05 Sleeping/Bored to death in Office -> July 05 Hospital (and 3 weeks of hell) -> Aug Sec 20 Noida (Rented Apartment) -> Sept 05 Roomie tantrums -> Biggest Crush of my life (10th Oct 0523 hrs)-> Foreign lands (Hoping against hope)-> 20th Nov -> 2nd Feb (chance phonecall) -> Mar 06 Open Relationship -> Feelin April heat in Jaipur -> May (phase of personal defeat) -> June (Reflections) -> July (decide leaving it all).....

As always... a lot of ups and downs... a complete emotional roller coaster with its share of chills and thrills... and again a phase of life thats about to get over with mixed feelings

And just when finally had started the process of packup, something pretty much unexpected happened which more than anything else caught me totally off guard. For the first time saw clear cracks in the seams of one single relation which i had been tendering with care which was pretty much unlike me. Sometimes its just some words that can have such a deep impact on ones mind that it simply becomes a irrecoverable emotional hurt. And the worst part is that these words orignate from the personal deamons that both of us have been battling against.... So true are the Floyd lyrics " We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground. What have we found? The same old fears....... "

Sometimes, it just our personal fears that can drive us to limits and beyond... reminds of the joke, which goes like - There was party going on in full blast on a cruise ship, suddenly a small boys falls off the deck... almost instantly a young man dives in and after a long battle with the might waves and the shark laden seas he is able to rescue the boy... there is a big round of applause and people ask him "so what were you thinking when you jumped ?" and the man answers "My only thought was, how to find the %#&##% who pushed me into water".

Bitter-Sweet Life

Soo long...............

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