Prelude: Thanks to Shibani, a post that had been incomplete for months, giving me blank stars and mocking me whenever I booted up my laptop, has finally come to a logical conclusion and ready to be posted.
Wondered why when we bump into someone whom we have been out of touch with since ages, the conversation starts almost on the same note-
How have you been ?
Good. How about you ?
Fine.
So what’s up, its been really a while since we last spoke.
Yeah. True. So what’s up?
Well, nothing much.
How is job going ?
Good. And yours?
Well some rough patches here and there, but smooth sail most of the time.
Good. And how is your girlfriend (or boyfriend or significant other)
Chal raha hai.
Lets sit sometime and catch up like old times.
Sure would love to do that.
(exchange of contact info)
(Goodbyes)
And then never bothering to get in touch again.
I am not sure about the rest of the people, but this surely happens with me a lot of times. And these are the same people who at one point of time were the closest college, school, classes or building buddies. With the passing of time one just gets busy with ones own life.
Well can actually categorise them into three possible reasons for this- first, Genuine lack of interest and little common ground, we all change with time so our interests, hobbies too could change thus leaving the commonalities behind; second, there are new additions into our world the toll of work & pressure that come alongside which takes away a major portion of our time, then comes the significant other, not to miss out the family & some new friends. The older ones just drift apart for no specific reasons. It just happens!!! Third, so much water has passed down the bridge that you really don’t know where to start.
Well there are times when I can actually categorise some of my old friends into all of these scenarios. A chance phone conversation with an old school pal who in school was my best friend made me realize we have grown into very different people & with absolutely different interests left me wondering how?? the conversation just did not move ahead from the regular exchange of pleasantries. I did whine about it a little while…but then was back to my normal self coz the absence or presence of this long lost friend of mine would not make a difference to my world now.
So many times I have faced something which is a mix of the second and third situation. Even when I met up with someone who was really a good friend at one point of time and I really want to share all that life has been through since we last met, don’t really know where to start from. But we did manage to gather the past & voila…it was just like old times…& this has happened not once but a couple of times & we just manage to pick up from where we left last..,
Leaves me with a thought what’s going to be like say five years down the line? Will I be writing another blog post about how I have outgrown the current people in my life or will some stay all along and some drift away?
Only time can answer this one!!!
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PS: Shibani- We should be having such random conversations more often :)
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Hey the motif is no more special as everybody face it. The point is how you take it rather than simply discussing about it which is not even in your hand. I lend my credence to the statement in the last "Only time can answer this one" bec thats the answer. So little guy grow up and think pragmatically. Things u r trying to dicsuss is all about past and those who focus on past gets nothing except for loneliness. Try putting some good blogs...
Appreciate ur time but not ur content as its of no use..Use blog to share something interesting and knowledgeable to others else nobody will read such boring stuff man.Don't take this as offending words but i wasted my time reading ur blog, thanks
@ Anonymous...
Past is a place from which you can learn a lot. Life first gives us an experience and then makes us realize its meanings and value. For me understanding that is an important process.
May be if you have better ideas and would like to enlighten me, then first you can let me know who you are and then we can go ahead and discuss. Else I don't see much of a point in posting anonymously.
-Ashutosh
Dear Ashutosh,
We only get weakened when we fall in the trap of giving explanations to strangers. I know you got it.
Well about losing people on the way, who some time mattered is a constant. Actually, everyone stays. Only the changes, addtions or deletions over the years make people behave in a certain way. Know Ashutosh, I read somewhere that we all are compelled by our own levels of understanding to behave or respond in a certain way.
There is every posiibilty that some one from your past whom you did not give much importance may give you a huge hug with tears in the eyes if your paths suddenly cross with him or her.
In fact someone with whom I spent most of my childhood and adolescence and today exceedingly successful in career ( a name to reckon with in her field) told me point blankly that with so many years gone by we have grown up to be very different people and at best we can be referred to as acquaintances from the past and not FRIENDS. ) And I had been waiting for 20 years before I could get in touch.
In fact, cherish those who have stayed in touch and the rest deserve their space and are of no concern to us.