Finally yesterday was a complete day off after almost two weeks of daily mindless slog. There are times when I start to think what value gain am I getting from the process of lending myself to 1.5 yrs of vella-giri ; but then I realise that i shouldn’t be asking myself such questions as I am doing a Management course ; ) so should pretty much accept these as ambiguities and move on.
But wait a sec, assuming my previous set of premises as correct, move on sounds to the real headway... and the final light at the end of the tunnel, but is it keeping up with the true spirit of Siddhuism, of an approaching train or is it caused due to enlightenment attained by someone while facing the camera lights on Aastha / Sanskar TV.
Now that really sets me thinking, so often we advice others and get adviced to move on. As a matter of fact one of my dear friend during a heart to heart kind of conversation adviced me the very same thing. For a change I was in the listening mode and actually gave her advice all due attention and thought. Infact, I too fully agreeded with what she said, that in life you have to at some point of time accept and acknowledge things and move on.
Accepting is fairly difficult thing to start with, accepting mean you acknowledge some problem/issue to a part of your life. It also means that you have decided for once and for all to stop running/escaping from it. And last but not least pulling all your defense mechanisms to rest. But after studying 17 types of coping mechanisms in Psychopathology and becoming a classic case of student syndrome, its fairly difficult to disregard. As has been said by one of my favourite philosopher, J.Krishnamurthy “Freedom from the known is the most diffucult thing to achieve”.
More often than not, we tend to get caught in a sub-set of thoughts which give us a very limited perspective of things, events and life in general. One way to break the monotony is to let the mind wander at times and follow some Freudian Free Association. Or indulge in some real intriguing and stimulating conversations, as I have had the privilege of doing in the recent past, but the only flipside being the kind of torture that the other may have to go through because of you may be a traumatic experience for her, and the bewildered looks and the frustration that keeps surfacing on Jay’s face after each round of conversations that we have is more than the required proof of what the poor soul has been enduring. Hope her punjabi DNA is strong enough to bear this kind of self induced endurance testing. But not everyone (including me) is lucky to enough to find such a sweet caring friend, and it’s not really fair to do this to someone everytime.
So going back to the previous option... Free Association. Something that really difficult to start with, because of so may restrctions that we have imposed on our mind from years of social conditioning and internalisation of ages of collective consiousness. I know these are big words to starts with, jargon throwing; but not with the purpose of impressing, instead to verbalise the complexities that run in parallel in mind, all so often. This is one way in which we follow our mind and meander through the labyrinth passages created by our perceptions. Perception of one being - “The process by which individuals organise and interpret their impressions in order to give meaning to their environment.”
There was something related to this that I had read a long time ago, it was something like, there should be a set of questions that one should keep asking himself at various stages in life and watch the answers change. There is a paradigm shift that keeps occurring in our lives on a constant and continuous basis but we are so engrossed in our fixed ways of thinking and living that we hardly ever notice. These are changes of a very subtle nature that keep happening and the slumber never breaks.
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